Just as being sincere helps to attract sincerity, so does honesty attract honesty. We all lie. And that is the truth. But these lies slowly degrade our ability to be genuine, loving people. By covering up the truth, even about little things, we place a wall in between ourselves and those that might be a good match for us romantically.
We are not expressing our true selves and that is causing us to seem distant from others, even if they do not realize that we are lying. When we get caught in a lie, that's even worse for attracting a loving relationship; we are shown to be a liar, one that can not be trusted. And while that might not end a relationship, it does set the precedent that since we can lie, so can our partner.
Learning to be truthful was a long battle for one of my friends, Shawn. He wanted to be an honest person, but he did not believe that his life was interesting enough to make him attractive to women. So, he goes to the bars and tell anyone the listened about his 'amazing' life and all the adventures that he took.
That is, until he met Lisa. Lisa knew Shawn from the bar scene and always thought that he was a big-mouthed liar that only tried to impress everyone, but was never really himself.
So, one night when Shawn was talking again, Lisa called his bluff on a story he told.
Red-faced and embarrassed, Shawn quickly left the bar for the night.
When he got home, he began to see that maybe people could see that he was lying, and that he was a phony to boot. That did not sit well with him and he stayed at home for several weeks until he began to develop a sense of honesty in his life.
He started by being honest about how he felt in the morning, then about being honest in his job, and then being honest about things that happened in his life. He noticed that different people began to talk to him because of this new way of living.
And that these people were beautiful, the kinds of people that he had always wanted to find for his life. When we eventually went back to the bar, he saw Lisa sitting at her usually spot and asked if he could talk to her.
She nodded and they talked about the true stories of his life. She smiled and he smiled because he did not have to worry about keeping his stories straight anymore; they were his stories. And Lisa liked him for that. Frankly speaking, honesty builds trust and strengthens the relationship!
